


Well that can't be right

by grayscalee



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Emotional Manipulation, Insults, M/M, Pining Michael, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, honestly the squip isnt even here for that long, i promi s e, is it still the musical squip if its an au squip?, it gets fluffy, probably, some deception tbh, tagalog michael, which i LOVE, wow this is some deep shit guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-17 03:39:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11267172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayscalee/pseuds/grayscalee
Summary: Out of everything Jeremy Heere was expecting when it came to the squip, this MOST DEFINITELY wasn't one of them.





	1. The squip enters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones a bit short, but yeah rip
> 
> (the pov wont be strictly from one person so if anyone wants me to like put a heads up at the top of the chapter for pov let me know)

“Wow, you genuinely make me want to launch myself in a vat of acid. Impressive.”

 

Out of everything Jeremy was expecting, _this_ was not one of them.

 

“I know my job is to help you be cooler, but I _just don’t know_ if it’s quite possible.”

 

Standing in front of him, of all people, was the only person who didn’t spit out insults at him constantly. Jeremy knew that this wasn’t his friend, that it was just a dumb computer, but it still _hurt._

 

“That’s hilarious, Jere, buddy. You really think people _like_ you? Even if they don’t say anything to your face, I’m _sure_ they must all get together to mock you.” The supercomputer chuckled, crossing its arms. “Still, I guess I’m going to have to make you cooler _somehow_.”

 

“Why are you… Why do you look like Michael?”

 

“Hold on, let me just…”

 

Ow.

 

“Ah! Here it is! Seems to me that you think Michael is one of _the coolest_ people you know! How pathetic!” The _thing_ started quietly cackling gleefully to itself. “You know, if you genuinely think _that dumb little stoner soon-to-be dropout_ is cool, then I might as well just give up right now.”

 

Jeremy paused for a minute, mulling over what the machine said until it finally hit him.

 

His breath hitched, slowly growing more and more irregular. He knew the squip was talking to him, going on about _all_ _these things_ they are going to have to do in order to make him cooler, but he was trying to push it out of his mind.

 

It felt like his chest had been crushed and held under a hydraulic press, his body refusing to take in anything but short, wheezing breaths. Michael would never say any of that shit to him, and he knew that! The two of them had been best friends for twelve goddamn years!

 

Even then, he couldn’t help but believe every goddamn word that had came out of the _stupid_ supercomputer’s mouth.

 

Suddenly, Jeremy had an idea. He could just call Michael on his phone! Why didn’t he think of that earlier? Michael _had_ to know a way to help!

 

He pulled out his phone, shakily dialing his best friend’s number.  
  
“Jeremy?”

 

“Michael! I uh-” Suddenly Jeremy couldn’t form the words he wanted to. He tried, but he just couldn’t get the words out.

 

“Oh, I know what this is about! I was actually thinking about talking to you, so this is great!” MIchael’s sing song voice caused his stomach to drop. There was a pause, and Jeremy felt every fiber of his being slowly filling with dread.

  
  
“We aren’t friends anymore.”

 

“I… What?”

 

No.

 

No no _no._

 

No no no _no Michael would never say that maybe he’s dreaming maybe he-_

 

 _“_ I’ve been thinking it over, and I’ve made my decision. You just drag me down, you know buddy?” He let out a small laugh.

 

God, his laugh _ruined_ Jeremy.

 

Choking out a disgusting sob, he tried to end the call as quickly as his shaking fingers would let him.

 

“You heard the man, in your current state you just drag everyone down! Now let’s get started, okay buddy?”

 

Jeremy started pinching as hard as he could at his wrists. God, why was this happening? Why was this real? He just wanted to be cool. To fit in, for once.

 

Was that too much to ask?

 

He backed into the corner of his room, sliding down the wall as he dug his nails into his wrists over and over and over, like he was a broken machine, only capable of this one thing.

 

His friend was gone. His _Michael_ was gone. He was just half of a pair that he wasn’t even sure existed in the first place. Tears streamed down his face, and he could just feel the squip watching him.

 

He felt pathetic.

 

“Okay, get up you whiny little _child_ , we have work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments make my day, and make my anxiety go away ;0


	2. Michael makes an entrance!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *looks at word count* guys i promise im capable of writing actually decent length chapters i pro m is e
> 
> also y'all can pry italics away from my cold dead body tbh

Michael was sitting in his room, spread out across both his bean bag chairs, idly playing a video game. Half asleep, due to the rain thudding against the house, he jumped a little when his phone started ringing.

 

Eventually pushing himself up and grabbing the phone, he was quick to answer upon reading Jeremy’s name.

 

Michael could only hear his friends irregular, steep breaths, so he quickly grabbed his sweater off his futon and slipped on a random pair of pants. “Jeremy?”

  
“Michael, I uh-” the other trailed off, suddenly silent.

 

“Hey, are you okay there Jere? I was just playin a game, I can come over if you need.”

 

As he waited for a response, he emptied his bag and shoved his sweater in it. The longer the silence had gone on, though, the more Michael’s mind started to race.

 

“Okay Jere I’m coming over.”

 

“I… What?”

 

He wasn’t expecting to hear that, but as Jeremy’s breathing grew worse, Michael’s trembling did as well. Struggling to put on his shoes, he filled his bag with a few various sodas just in case.  
  
“I had thought you sounded pretty off, so... No harm in just checkin in, you know buddy?” Michael let out a nervous laugh, quietly sneaking upstairs and out the door.

 

He wasn’t ready to hear his best friend start to cry, before suddenly hanging up, which only made him run faster. At this point, he didn’t give a _damn_ how bad it was pouring.

 

He had to get to Jeremy.

 

 

 

Finally arriving at the house, he practically slammed himself into the front door.

 

Pulling out his phone again, he shot Jeremy a text.  
  
[you]: Hey jerems, im here  


[you]: Jere?

 

After not getting a response, he fumbled around for the extra key Jeremy had given him, before jamming it in the door. He ran to Jeremy’s room, slamming open the door as he frantically looked around.

 

“Michael..? Why are you here?”

 

“I… Told you… I said I was coming over, Jere.” Michael set down his bag as he looked over to where Jeremy was.

 

“You… I….”

 

“Holy shit dude…” Michael kneeled down to where his friend was, pressing a hand to his forehead. "Uy, you aren't like, dying, diba? Like I don't… I don't gotta worry about death, right?" as he rambled he quickly picked up his friend, despite the protesting, and brought him over to the bed. Dropping him, he kicked his shoes towards the door and sat down beside him.

 

“Eugh gross dude, why’d you have to get me all wet!”

 

“Maybe cause it got you to _actually_ talk! Tangina!” Michael laughed a little before trying to touch a damper part of his arm to Jeremy’s face.

 

“Back off dude, ew! Leave me alone!” He laughed a little, before wincing and holding a hand to his head. “Ow christ, _ow_. You totally just got me to forgot I had an evil computer you trying to take over my brain or something. Stop being good at being my best friend.”

 

When Jeremy said the words ‘best friend’ he suddenly just seemed to shut off. His smile was wiped off his face, and he seemed to slowly start shaking even more.

 

“Holy shit, hey…” Michael had noticed his own hands shaking a little. “You okay buddy?” Jeremy seemed to wince when Michael said buddy, making him feel even worse.

 

“You… Over the phone… You said we…” Jeremy paused, as if repeating whatever he heard would set it in stone.

 

“You said _‘We aren’t friends anymore.’_ ”

 

Michael could feel his heart stop. He wouldn't say that to Jeremy even if it meant his _death_. “Jere, what the hell are you talking about?” Seeing as Jeremy probably wasn't going to answer soon, he started thinking about what the hell could've happened.

 

Suddenly, he remembered that _dumb_ offer Rich had given Jeremy.

 

“Holy shit, did that stupid little wintergreen fucking... that… squip thingie actually work? Pucha, what the fuck did it do to you?” Michael pulled his friend back towards him, loosening his grip when he saw Jeremy’s forearms. Most of the skin was inflamed, and covered in small, crescent-shaped indents.

 

“Fuck, _dude._ ” Still keeping a gentle grasp around Jeremy’s wrist, he examined the marks. Some appeared to be full on scratch marks, and a few had even scabbed over.

 

“It…” As he waited for Jeremy to talk, he pressed a colder, damper part of his arm against the irritated skin. “It looks like you Michael.”

 

“ _What?_ ” Michael stopped what he was doing, unintentionally tightening his grip on Jeremy’s wrist.

 

“Ow, _ow!_ Michael, my wrist!”

 

“What do you mean it looks like me?”

 

“I don’t know! All I know is that this thing has been telling me about how _awful_ I am since the minute it activated, and I couldn’t help but believe it because it looks and sounds _exactly like you_!”

 

Jeremy wrenched his arm out of Michael’s grip as he yelled, fresh tears streaming down his face all over again.

 

“I… What?”  
  
“You- It said all this shit about how nobody would ever fucking want to be friends with me, and-” Jeremy stopped for a minute, using the back of his hand to forcibly wipe away his tears. “And then you just fucking… I called you, but clearly that was a mistake because not only did I already make _a machine_ want to kill itself because i'm so fucking... because I’m such a damn waste of space, I also ended up losing _the coolest fucking person I know_!”

 

Jeremy slapped his hands over his mouth, as Michael just sat there slack jawed. “I… _Tangina,_ Jere…”

 

 _“I just want it to stop, Michael.”_ Jeremy’s voice was small and broken, and Michael could just _feel_ his heart breaking in half. He just wanted to help Jeremy, to just hold him and tell him about how _he deserved the fucking world._

 

But he _couldn’t._

 

He wracked his brain for _anything_ on squips. He had spent _nights_ scouring the internet for anything that would help, why couldn’t he remember what he’d found?

 

“Holy shit, _that's it_!” Jeremy had made a confused noise that would’ve made Michael _swoon_ , if it weren’t for the current situation. Practically launching himself off of Jeremy’s bed, he grabbed his backpack and opened it up.

 

“I remember…” Pausing, he pulled out his sweater and threw it at the bed, before continuing. “I finally found something, I think it was like… Something happened if you drank Mountain Dew Red?” Michael sifted around through his bag, pulling out random pops. God he hoped that it was one of the ones he brought.

 

He could see Jeremy shifting around in the corner of his eye, but he kept pulling out random pops, _hoping_ one would be a Mountain Dew.

 

“Why don’t we just run to the store and buy a can?”

 

“It was discontinued in the nineteen-nineties, why do you think I’m looking for it in my bag?” He sounded a little too excited, but he honestly didn’t care much. He was damn set on getting this for Jeremy.

 

The stupid little grin on his face was quick to disappear, when he reached the bottom of his bag.

 

“Hey so, good news and bad news. Good news: I know where the Mountain Dew is.”

 

“And the bad news?” Jeremy asked, walking over to him.

 

“It’s in my basement, with the rest of the collection.” Michael stood up, giving Jeremy a small glance. “I’m gonna go get it, you gonna come with?”

 

“No, I… I’ll stay here…” Michael gave him a nod in acknowledgement, before slipping his shoes on and starting his trek back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> miss me with that 'michael wouldnt pin' shit
> 
> translation notes:
> 
> uy is a common multipurpose filler sound
> 
> diba means 'right???'
> 
> tangina, the beautiful all around swear word
> 
> pucha functions much the same way as tangina, swear-wise. closest eng equivalent would be 'damn it' 
> 
> Thank u to reptilianraven for translating for me, u and ur tagalog michael are all i need in life tbh (go check out their shit its good tm)
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day, and make my anxiety go away ;0


	3. I'm waiting it out..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******Tw for the squip mentioning suicide, its not direct, but just in case******  
> (this chapter is optional, but if you wanna just not read that bit, just stop reading at 'Suddenly his hand rubbed against something bunched up sitting beside him.' and start again at 'It was his sweater.')
> 
>  
> 
> Man sorry these chapters are super short, if they were around the normal length i write they'd take longer to write and i've learned that i tend to not really.. want to write for them if they are, so i hope y'all can forgive me rip

Jeremy was left standing in the middle of his room, blankly staring at where Michael used to be in his door frame.

 

Surprisingly, his squip had been eerily silent since Michael had dropped by. Which, he supposed, was a pretty good thing, it was nice not having the computer suddenly berating every little thing about him.

 

After idly standing there, staring off for god knows how long, Michael suddenly reappeared in his doorway.

 

He had a dumb little grin on his face, and a bottle of Mountain Dew Red in hand.

 

Jeremy hadn’t realized he was just  _ standing _ there for so long, but now that he thought about it, he didn’t remember seeing Michael grabbing his sweater either.

 

“So, uh.. You really think this will work?” Jeremy had started nervously twiddling his fingers, _ just wanting this to be over already. _

 

Michael hadn’t answered, just shrugged, and walked towards Jeremy.

 

“Hey, what did the squip say to you that made you want this so bad?” He twisted the soda around in his hand a little, examining the bottle.

 

“I uh… Can we just... not right now… I don’t… I’ll…” Jeremy backed up a little, nervously twisting his finger around.

 

“I dunno, dude. This shit could bring you fame, and you want to get rid of it cause it insulted you a few times?” He shrugged again, the smile disappearing from his face as he did so, replaced by a deadpan, emotionless look. “I just want to know what it said that was that bad.”

 

“Michael…” It had become harder and harder for Jeremy to form words, only being able to choke out his friend’s name. He just watched as the other walked over to the wall, leaning against it as he fiddled with the label on the bottle.

 

He wasn’t prepared for Michael to stick his hand out the window, a deadpan look as he stared at Jeremy.

 

_ ‘I don’t remember opening that window’, _ Jeremy thought as he started to back up even further.

 

“Michael what are you… What are you doing?” His voice was hoarse, and he could feel his heart starting to beat faster in his chest.

 

He  _ knew _ that was the only bottle Michael would’ve had of it.

 

“You really gonna blow away  _ four hundred dollars _ like that?”

 

He would just do whatever Michael wanted, and then hed give Jeremy the bottle, _ right? _

 

_ “ _ Do you know what I’d give to have something that could make me be  _ cool _ ?”

 

Jeremy had backed up onto his bed, vision blurring, as he kept his eyes on Michael.

 

Suddenly his hand rubbed against something bunched up sitting beside him.

 

He knew that the other said something, a comment about how he could just jump after the bottle if he wanted it that bad, but he didn’t listen.

 

It was his sweater.

 

_ Michael’s sweater was on his bed, he never did fucking take it. _

 

“You aren’t Michael.”

 

“What?” When Jeremy looked back up, their face formed into a grimace.

 

“You… You’re just the squip… I fucking… _ I fucking knew something wasn’t right… _ ” Jeremy’s breath hitched, as he felt a sudden and quick shock run down his spine.

 

He tried to block out the pain,  _ Michael was coming, he would be here soon. He just had to wait it out. _

 

_ “ _ You can’t ignore me forever Jeremy. You wouldn’t ignore  _ your favouwite person, would you? _ ” Suddenly the squip was standing in front of his bed.

 

God, he hated the way he manipulated Michael’s voice.

 

“You aren’t him, we _ both _ know that.”

  
Jeremy shakily pulled on his friends sweater, curling into himself on his bed.

 

_ Just block out the squip. _ He felt another shock run down his spine, but did his best to bear through the pain.

 

_ Michael would be here soon. _

 

Another zap.

 

_ He just had to wait it out, just a little longer. _

 

And another.

 

_ God, Michael, please get here soon. _

 

 

 

Jeremy must have blacked out for a while from the pain, because he was suddenly jolted awake.

 

“Jeremy… Jeremy… Jeremy… Can’t have you falling asleep, now can we? Are you normally this ignorant towards your guests?”

 

He didn’t reply. Just pulled the hood of the sweater over his head and tried to drown him out with other thoughts.

 

Of fucking course, all he could think of was Michael at the time.

 

_ God, when would he get back? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is what happens when ur friends give u ideas @ said friend u kno who u are and what u did 
> 
> My last exam is wednesday, so once thats done I'll be free to write the shit outta this
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day, and make my anxiety go away ;0


	4. Michael makes an entrance! ...Again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate chapter title: Local boy found dead, his small gay heart exploded
> 
> I FORGOT TO TITLE CHAPTER THREE SO I WENT AHEAD AND DID THAT EARLIER WHOOPS AHAH
> 
> ALSO: FANART?????
> 
> [FANART!!!!!](http://wtf-alexandra.tumblr.com/post/162144267652/grayscaleeternity)

The trip to Michael’s house and back was rather uneventful so far; a lot of running, and him catching his breath, as well as a bit of sneaking when in the house, to sum it up really.

 

When he was walking back, though, he started to think about how shitty of an idea it was for him to leave Jeremy alone with the squip. From what he had already heard, the dumb little tic tac didn’t exactly treat Jere the best.

 

He started thinking about what the squip could’ve said, when his anxiety suddenly spiked.

 

It looked _exactly_ like him.

 

It could _ruin_ Jeremy if it really wanted to.

 

His pace quickened, but the next thing he knew Michael was lying on the ground. He was pretty sure he hit his head, but everything was too fuzzy to even think straight right now. He forced himself back up, and soon got to Jeremy’s property. Running back up to Jere’s room, Michael glanced around to find him.

 

He almost missed him laying on his bed, _wearing Michaels sweater._

 

“I leave you for maybe five minutes and you already stole my sweater.” He was a little nervous when Jeremy didn’t answer.

 

“Jere?” He tried.

 

_Okay, make that a lot nervous._

 

“Jerems, you okay?” Michael walked over to the lanky teen, going to shake him a little bit.

 

Before his brain could process what happened, he found Jeremy wrapped around him, the both of them now on the floor.

 

Jeremy was violently shaking, small whimpers of what Michael guessed was pain escaping from him every now and then.

 

“Jere I brought the.. Why don’t you…” Whatever happened, he just wanted that demon computer _gone._

 

Michael had to try and not start crying as well at how Jeremy was acting.

 

“Jeremy. You gotta let go, dude.” Michael slowly pried himself out of Jeremy’s grip, placing the drink in his hands.

 

_Shoo, you evil gay thoughts, now is not the time._

 

“Jesus, okay, here… Wait…” Michael took the bottle, opening it.

 

He watched as Jeremy slowly went to reach out for it, but pulled the bottle away when his hand suddenly jerked forward.

 

“Fuck- I… Squip…” Was all Jeremy said in response, his voice clearly strained.

 

Michael nodded, trying to think of some way to get him to drink it without the squip interfering.

 

“I could put it in a sippy cup?” The small chuckle Jeremy gave encouraged him to keep suggesting ridiculous ideas.

 

“Or I could maybe like… straitjacket you with my sweater as you sip it from a straw?”

 

Michael couldn’t help but laugh a little as well at that one.

 

“Seriously though, how are we going to get you to drink this?” Michael put the lid back on it for now, as he thought.

 

_Wow, he didn’t realize just how close they were, okay._

 

“So uh…” Michael covered his mouth in feign thought, attempting to hide his blushing, gay ass even a little.

 

It didn’t help that Jeremy was basically _straddling_ him right now.

 

“Oh! What if I burrito’d you in a blanket, and held the soda for you to sip from?”

 

Jeremy laughed a little, before choking out a “sure.”

 

Michael wormed his legs out from under Jeremy, standing up and grabbing a blanket off the bed.

 

“You gotta stand up, Jere.” Michael laughed a little, watching him on the floor. When he finally stood up, Michael waited for a minute or two. “You, uh… Gonna take my sweater off, or are you chill with dying of heat like the sweater thief you are?”

 

Jeremy had quickly shaken his head no, wrapping his arms around himself.

 

“Alright, suit yourself.” Michael shrugged, before starting to wrap Jeremy’s torso up in the blanket. After a bit of shifting the blanket around to be tight enough, he stepped back to admire his work.

 

“I feel like a stick with legs.”

 

“You are a stick with legs, my dude.” Michael helped him sit back down, before opening the Mountain Dew again.

 

Sitting there for a solid minute, Michael finally spoke up again.

 

“This was an awful idea, now that I think about it…” Michael pulled out a corner of the blanket, just in case he needed a quick unwrapping route, before nodding a little.

 

“Okay, you uh… You ready?” Michael waited for Jeremy to nod, before attempting to let him drink the soda.

 

They _really_ didn’t think this through, as Michael had just accidentally poured a bunch of it _on_ Jeremy.

 

“Shit, you got a towel in here?” Jeremy nodded over to his dresser, trying to swallow his mouthful of Mountain Dew.

 

Michael grabbed the towel and quickly wiped away most of the Mountain Dew, then starting to unwrap him.

 

“So, how do you fe-” Michael wasn’t prepared for Jeremy to suddenly start screaming, from what he guessed was pain.

  
  
“Jesus! Jesus okay, christ!” Michael started to panic, frantically looking around.

 

_What the fuck was he supposed to do?_

 

“Shit, you’re gonna wake up so many people… Fuck, what if someone calls the police?” Michael started to ramble, before scooping Jeremy off the floor and sitting on the bed.

 

He just awkwardly held onto Jeremy, waiting for whatever was happening to be over.

 

Just mumbling things to Jeremy, wishing he could do _something_ to make it stop.

 

 

 

Eventually, Jeremy had stopped screaming, now just softly crying as he sat with Michael.

 

_God, how did nobody hear, or even care, about what just happened?_

 

“Do you want me to get you something for your throat?” Michael shifted around a little, his face a little warm from how close he realized Jeremy was.

 

Jeremy had just shaken his head no, before resting it on Michael’s shoulder.

 

His words had suddenly gotten caught in the back of his throat at the movement. Giving a small, nervous laugh, he tried to talk again, this time a bit more successfully. “Why not? Your throat’s probably killing you right now.”

 

Jeremy shrugged a little, playing with the cuff of Michael’s sweater. “Don’t want…” he paused for a minute, before continuing. “Don’t want you to go.” he mumbled, almost inaudibly.

 

“Oh.” Michael could feel his face warming up even more, _god_ he was fucked. “D’you uh.. Want to come with me to g-”

 

Michael suddenly lost the ability to talk, _because Jeremy had just started holding his hand._

 

“Oh, sorry..” Jeremy must’ve thought that Michael wasn’t fine with it, because he slowly let go.

 

Michael forced out an “it’s cool, man.” Even though it really, really wasn’t.

 

_The things he did for this boy._

 

“If it helps you calm down, then I’m whatever dude.” Michael said, ruffling Jeremy’s hair a little.

 

_Fuck, why did he have to make such cute noises in response to things?_

 

“You know what, why don’t we uh…” Michael scooted off the bed, getting Jeremy to stand. When he was met with a noise of what he guessed was discontent, he took in quick breath.

 

_Just get this boy something to drink, your gay ass can handle that much._

 

He grabbed Jeremy’s hand in his, and started to walk out of the room. Trying to push his thoughts to the back of his mind, he focused on walking to the kitchen.

 

_Goodbye world, Michael Mell has ascended to the astral plane._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *holds pining michael* u can rip him out of my cold dead hands
> 
> for anyone who hasn't been graced with this experience: when u burrito someone u just like take a blanket and usually like put them on the floor, and then roll them up inside the blanket. Its wild (especially with siblings tbh)
> 
> also u cant fuckin tell me how the floor scene doesnt work that way *fuckin rUNS*
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day, and make my anxiety go away ;0


	5. Jeeeeremy, I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so sorry for the lack of updates! This years exams are a lot more stressful then I was prepared for, and on top of that my sisters computer that im writing this on is finally letting its 8 years of living catch up to it ahah (I'll try to write as much as i can, but since i cant have youtube, google docs, and a messaging app open without it flipping i cant make any promises)
> 
> *also finger guns the title bc wow*
> 
> anyways, enough about the shitty news, its time to get GAY

By the time they had gotten down to the kitchen, Jeremy had latched onto Michael’s arm, as opposed to just holding his hand.

 

“Okay, what do you want to drink?” Michael asked him, grabbing a cup with his free hand. When Jeremy didn’t respond, he started listing things off the top of his head.

 

“I have the pop upstairs, but that probably wouldn’t help with your throat.. Uh..” Michael glanced over at Jeremy as he thought.

 

_ God, _ he was shaking so badly. Michael’s heart hurt just  _ watching _ him.

 

“You could have water, um.. Usually you have juice in the house if you want that?”

 

No response, just him shaking and staring off.

 

“Jeez uh, tea helps right? Yeah, I think I remember reading tea helps with sore throats.” Michael mumbled.

 

Upon yet again not getting any responses, Michael sighed.

 

Pulling his arm out of Jeremy’s grasp, he wrapped him up in a hug. One hand on his shoulder, and the other in Jeremy’s hair.

 

Jeremy had jumped a little in surprise, but eventually hugged him back. He had rested his head on Michael’s shoulder, starting to tremble a little less.

 

They had stood in silence for a while, when Jeremy finally spoke up. “I’m just... ‘M jus’ tired Michael…”

 

_ Well, yeah, that makes sense. Being in pain, crying, and screaming are all pretty exhausting on their own. _

 

Glancing at the time on the oven, Michael had to resist the urge to laugh a little.

 

_ It’s also twelve thirty in the morning, who wouldn’t be tired after that shit show? _

 

“Do you uh, want me to go so you can sleep?” As soon as he suggested leaving, Jeremy’s grip tightened on his shirt.

 

“Please, don’t-” Jeremy suddenly broke out in a coughing fit, making Michael feel a little guilty. When he finally calmed down, he tried talking again “Please don’t go Michael…” He choked out, before burying his face in the crook of Michael’s neck.

 

_ He was sure he just broke the record for the world’s reddest face. _

 

“Okay, well uh... Do you just... Want to erm...” Michael ran his fingers through Jeremy’s hair a little as he thought. “You just want me to sleep over? I uh, we used to do that all the time, so I mean-” Michael stopped himself mid sentence, he was rambling.

 

He felt Jeremy nod his head a little, shifting over.

 

“You know what?” Michael said, a dumb little smile on his face.   
  
“Hm?”

 

“This is super,  _ duper _ gay.” Michael whispered to him, laughing a little.

 

“Dude!” Jeremy suddenly shoved him away, a small laugh escaping him. “Way to ruin the moment!”

 

“It was like,  _ ultra _ gay.” Michael laughed a little at how red Jeremy’s face was getting.

 

_ Revenge is a bitch, Jeremy Heere. _

 

As Jeremy stood there, mumbling about how much of an ass he was, Michael grabbed a packet of tea.

 

Starting to boil some water, he put the tea bag in the cup he’d gotten out earlier.

 

“Hey, Hey Jere.”

 

“I swear to god…” Jeremy started, placing his head in his hands.

 

“Am I still your favouwite person?” He asked, laughing a little.

 

When Jeremy suddenly seized up, Michael swore as he grabbed his arm and pulled him back into a hug.

 

“Shit, shit dude, I didn’t…”

 

“I- it-” Jeremy started, letting Michael just hold onto him. “God, it’s so dumb dude. It fucking, the computer whatever  _ ruined _ that.”

 

“Hey man, it’s totally fine! I’ll just try to remember not to say it. I dunno what it said or did to you, but I guess I just have one less way to joke around with you.” He shrugged a little, giving a small smile to Jeremy.

 

“Now stop distracting me, I need to make your tea you  _ nerd _ .” Michael let him go, with a small wave of his hand. As he went back to preparing the tea, Jeremy sat down on the counter.

 

Holy _shit,_ _how_ was he still living and breathing? He was _far_ too gay for this.

 

After letting the tea steep for a while, he took out the tea bag. Adding some sugar, Michael had taken a sip, making sure he made it the way Jeremy liked. Mixing in a bit more, he held it out to him. “Para sa ‘yo.”

 

He laughed a little at the face Jeremy made, which he has dubbed the ‘what does _ that  _ mean’ reaction. It was always fun to say things, even just to get him to do that. “It’s just like.. This is for you, basically.”

 

“Oh, cool.” He nodded a little, before taking a sip from the tea. “Jesus! How do you do that!” Jeremy set down the tea, glaring at Michael when he laughed. “You just sip from it like its normal temperature and then just watch as I burn my mouth on it!”

 

“Clearly I’ve done it enough that you should’ve known _ not _ to trust me!” He laughed a little when Jeremy smacked his arm.

 

“I’m super tired, okay? Leave me be.” Jeremy grumbled, sliding off the counter.

 

"Alright, Mr. grumpy grump." Michael laughed a little, rolling his eyes. "Let’s go sleep then."

 

He wasn’t prepared for Jeremy to grab his hand again, intertwining their fingers.

 

_ "Oh, _ okay, uh... c-come on..." Michael mumbled, going to walk back to Jeremy's room.

 

When they got to the stairs, Jeremy stopped walking.

 

"Dude, you uh... You okay?"

 

"I just... Sorry, it's dumb..." He shook his head, taking a step forward.

 

Michael made a mental note to ask about that later.

 

Continuing to walk upstairs, they both entered his room. Jeremy made sure to flick off the light and close the door, before they sat down on his bed.

 

"So, how are we gonna sleep? We’re too tall to lay sideways on your bed.." Michael had laid back, sticking his legs out to prove his point.

 

"We  _ could _ uh.." Jeremy trailed off, taking a sip from his tea. "You know.."

 

Michael glances over at him, sticking his legs down. "I know what..?"

 

Jeremy's face flushed, as he continued his train of thought "We could just like... lay together..."

 

His face was probably so red it could challenge his hoodie, _ damn you gay thoughts. _

 

"If you uh.. If  _ you're _ cool with it.. I mean, yeah uh.." Michael coughed a little, rubbing at his face.

 

_ You can rub all you want, Michael Mell, but you can't rub the gay away. _

 

"Okay, cool... Cool!" Jeremy nodded his head, drinking more of the tea. _ What happened to it being too hot to drink, Heere? _

 

“Oh, sorry!” Jeremy let go of his hand, holding onto the mug instead.

 

Michael gave a small wave of his now empty hand, ignoring the urge to reach over and grab it back.

 

_ Was it gay that he wished his hand was that cup? Abso-damn-lutely. _

 

_ Did that stop him from thinking about it? Absolutely not. _

 

“Hey, uh, this is dumb jeez…” Jeremy mumbled, setting down his cup. “Could you uh… You know, do the thing you were doing earlier..?”

 

“What thing?” Michael knew exactly what he was talking about, and he was  _ totally _ going to hell for this, but it was amusing seeing him get this flustered.

 

“Ugh, come on dude, why are you like this?” He whined, rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

Michael just shrugged, a smirk on his face as he started bunching up two of Jeremy’s blankets.

 

“When you were… Earlier you were like... running your hand through my hair..?” He tried, looking over at Michael.

 

Once comfortably nestled into the blanket pile, he grabbed Jeremy’s hand.

 

“What are you-” He let out a small shriek when Michael pulled Jeremy onto his lap, trapping him by wrapping his arms around him.

 

“Dude, no fair!” He grumbled, crossing his arms.

 

Michael just ignored him, running his fingers through Jeremy’s hair as he started to softly hum along to the first song that came to mind.  
  


_ what a strange being you are _

 

_ god knows where I would be _

 

_ if you hadn’t found me _

 

_ sitting all alone in the dark _

 

_ God,  _ he closed his eyes as he continued to hum,  _ he’d do too many things for this boy. _

  
  
  


 

Eventually Jeremy had fallen asleep, his head on Michael’s shoulder, and his hand snaked behind his back in what used to be a hug.

 

"Grabe, 'di mo lang alam. Hindi mo alam na… Tangina... Na mahal kita." Michael rubbed at his face, taking a deep breath. "Jeremy, aking sinta, mahal kita.”

 

_ He was already in this deep, _ he thought,  _ no turning back now. _

 

Michael quickly placed a kiss on Jeremy’s forehead, before taking off his glasses and trying to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody can stop me, I will write pining Michael until my fingers fall off
> 
> come message [my tumblr](http://grayscaleeternity.tumblr.com) ;0
> 
> song- [sick of losing soulmates by dodie clark :0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHUIoikgKT0&feature=youtu.be&list=PL36142F51F19698FC)
> 
> Translations- thank you to [reptilianraven](http://archiveofourown.org/users/reptilianraven) for translating! They write wonderful stuff, go check it out! 
> 
> -[that bit at the end] roughly means "Damn, you have no idea. You don't know that I... Fuck... I love you." then the additional line roughly means "My darling."  
> -sinta is a SUUUPPPER romantic, almost old school, word djfhfnfncjdhdhxjx
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day, and make my anxiety go away ;0


	6. The pants chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Save me I hate not having a functioning computer that i can write on
> 
> Also i keep drawing instead of writing, so there's that..

“Jeremy? Do you have a girl over for once?” Michael wasn't prepared to wake up to seeing what he figured was Jeremy’s pantless father standing in the room. “Oh, hey Michael.”

 

“Mmh, hey Mr. Heere…" Michael mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. "How come you’re in here?” Grabbing for his glasses, he eventually found and put them on.

 

_ Yep, definitely pantless. _

 

“I was going to ask Jeremy if he wanted anything for breakfast. When did you come over?”

 

“Jere invited me over last night.” Michael shrugged a little bit, the weight holding him down reminding him of the fact that the aforementioned teen was currently sprawled out on top of him.

 

At least, he _ was _ , until he suddenly shot upright.

 

“Dad! Where are your pants?! And why are you in my room?!” Michael tried not to laugh when Jeremy started to cover himself with a blanket, despite being fully clothed.

 

“I was going to ask about breakfast, you boys want anything in particular?”

 

“I think what Jeremy wants is for you to put some pants on and-” Michael snickered when Jeremy smacked his hand over Michael’s mouth.

 

“Dude, shut up.” He breathed, his face a bright red.

 

Sticking his tongue out to make Jeremy move his hand, he continued talking. “In all seriousness though, we are cool with whatever!”

 

“Now can you  _ please _ leave, dad?”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Heere!” Michael called out as he walked away.

 

“And close my door, please!”

 

Michael let out a small laugh when Jeremy collapsed back onto him in defeat. Ruffling his hair, Jeremy let out a long sigh.

 

“I just don’t understand why he can’t just wear a pair of pants!” He cried out, burying his face in Michael’s chest.

 

_ His treacherous face better not be red right now. _

 

“I dunno man, not wearing pants is pretty great. I can see the appeal.”

 

Jeremy just shook his head in response, snaking his arms behind Michael’s back.

 

“Why did you want him out of your room so bad?” Michael had taken to running his fingers through Jeremy’s hair again, his free hand resting on his back.

 

“I just.. You... He wasn’t wearing pants!” Michael could tell he was avoiding answering the question, especially by the way his voice had cracked, but he still let it slide.

 

After the two of them sat there for a while, Jeremy finally spoke up again.

 

“You're too comfortable, I just wanna lay here and never get up.” He grumbled. If Michael’s face wasn’t red before, then it was now.

 

_ He had to resist every urge in his body not to lean forward and place a kiss on Jeremy’s head. _

 

“We should uh… We probably shouldn’t leave your dad waiting, dude.” Michael gave Jeremy a small nudge.

 

Grumbling, Jeremy pushed himself off the bed. Michael was in no way prepared for the fact that the thing he used to do so was Michael’s  _ inner thigh _ .

 

_ This has to be what hell is like, there was no way that just happened. What did he do to deserve this? _

 

Getting up, Michael picked his phone up off the floor and looked at Jeremy.

 

_ Jesus, how was he even standing? He looked like he was about to fall into a coma. _

 

“You uh, want me to carry you down or something, sleeping beauty?” Michael said it as a joke, but was caught off guard when Jeremy nodded his head.

 

_ Well, guess he was doing this. _

 

Slipping his phone into his pocket, Michael picked Jeremy up in a piggyback. He couldn’t help the small noise he made when Jeremy had rested his head on his shoulder.

  
  
  


 

In the time it had taken to get down to kitchen’s entry way, Michael was  _ pretty sure _ Jeremy had fallen back asleep, but it wasn’t like he really cared.

 

“Oh, hey there! I hope eggs are fine.” Jeremy’s dad was standing in front of the counter, a carton of eggs open in front of him.

 

Michael walked into the kitchen, resting his head against Jeremy's. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

 

There was a bit of an awkward silence, as Michael watched Mr. Heere prepare the food.

 

“You can put him down on a chair, you know?”

 

“Actually, I think he might strangle me. Literally.” Michael mumbled, letting go of one of Jeremy’s legs to point at the arms currently wrapped around his throat.

 

Picking his leg back up, Michael eventually opted for sitting down, sandwiching Jeremy between him and the back of the chair.

 

_ If Michael had to carry his ass around, he could deal with the consequences of falling asleep. _

 

Leaning back a little, Michael got into a more comfortable position before pulling out his phone.

 

_ Time to scroll social media as he waited. _

  
  
  


 

Apparently, he had zoned out at some point, because the next thing he knew he found himself holding onto one of Jeremy’s arms, with a plate being placed in front of him.

 

“Thanks, dad.” Michael jumped when he heard Jeremy’s sleepy voice.

 

“Since when were you up?”

 

“Uh… I don’t know? ‘Ve been watchin’ you scroll through stuff on your phone.” There was a beat of silence before Michael responded.

 

“Dude, that’s creepy!” He sputtered, lightly elbowing him.

 

“Says the one who has me like  _ pinned _ between you and a chair.” Jeremy grumbled, reaching out with one hand to grab a fork.

 

“Can’t help it you’re like  _ wrapped _ around me.” Michael retorted, setting his phone on the table. Jeremy had just silently broken off a piece of egg and eaten it in response.

 

“Jeremy, just let the poor boy go.” Mr. Heere, the blessing he was, finally intervened.

 

“Thank you!” Michael stood up, sticking his tongue out at Jeremy as he sat down on the chair beside him.

 

“Alright, try not to kill each other. I’ll be in the office if you need me.” Michael thanked him as he walked out of the room, before turning to Jeremy. He couldn’t help the grin on his face.

 

“I don’t like that look on your face.” Jeremy said around a mouthful of egg.

 

“What look?” Michael asked, batting his eyelashes at him to feign innocence.

 

“That…  _ Look... _ you get whenever you are trying to get information out of me…” Jeremy pointed his fork at Michael as he spoke.

 

He started eating his own food, giving Jeremy a shrug. He’d just ask about it later.

  
  
  


 

When they had finished eating, Michael had brought both of their plates to the sink, and they started heading back to Jeremy's room.

 

“So…” he had drawn out the word, stopping and wiggling his eyebrows to add to the effect.

 

Jeremy just groaned in response, putting his head in his hands. “I thought you dropped whatever this is about already.”

 

He definitely didn’t drop it, but he didn’t really know if he was prepared for the answer, so he quickly came up with a dumb question.

 

“So is it gone?”

 

“What?”

 

“The squip thing. Did it go away?”

 

“Oh..  _ Oh!  _ Yeah, uh, I thought you knew it went away?”

 

A huge grin crawled onto Michael’s face as he grabbed Jeremy’s shoulders. “Dude!  _ Dude! _ ”

 

“What, Michael?”

 

_ “We gotta celebrate.” _

 

“I’m gonna pass on getting stoned in your basement.” 

 

Michael pretended to pout, before wiggling his eyebrows a bit. “Video games, then?” 

 

“Sure, you  _ looser _ .” Jeremy shoved him a bit, before running up to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY YALL  
> -first off sorry if smth doesnt make sense rip feel free to ask  
> -second off come bug me on [tumblr](http://grayscaleeternity.tumblr.com)  
> -third off take poor Michael away from me
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day, and make my anxiety go away ;0


	7. Lunch isn't the only thing that's bangin, Michael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> important note: no banging happens in the actual chapter idk if i could write that without actually like not wanting to pub the chapter, what i already wrote was hard enough ahahah
> 
> sorry for how late this is! I kinda sunk to a low spot and didn't really have the motivation to write this chapter, but here it is! Finally!

The two of them sat in Jeremy’s room for hours, trying to progress through more levels in Apocalypse of the Damned.

 

After dying for the umpteenth time, though, Michael had taken to sprawling out across his beanbag and grumbling into his hands.

 

“The game is cheating. This isn’t fair.”

 

“Come on dude, just one more shot? Please?” Michael peeked through his fingers to find Jeremy fake pouting.

 

Covering his eyes again, he hoped Jeremy couldn’t tell that he was blushing.

 

_ He wasn’t thinking about leaning over and running his thumb over Jeremy’s lower lip, and he definitely wasn’t thinking about kissing them either. _

 

“Sorry, I’m just distracted. Maybe we should just take a small break before we continue playing.”

 

_ And no, he wasn’t thinking about how good he looked wearing Michael’s sweater either. Definitely not. _

 

“Distracted by what?” Jeremy’s words were just dripping with confusion _ , boy was this boy oblivious. _

 

_ Gee Jeremy, maybe by you. _

 

“Uh.. I dunno… I know it’s already over but just…” Michael sat back up, nervously picking at the hem of his shirt.

 

He paused, trying to think of what to say. Since there was no way he was talking about his actual thoughts, he figured he might as well use this time to talk about what happened with the squip.

 

“You said that stuff about how the squip was like… Insulting… You, and stuff like that? I just… It  _ used _ me to fuck with you, Jere!” Deep breath, Mikey. “Every time I talk now, you’re probably expecting my words to just be  _ riddled  _ with insults and belittling comments!”

 

Jeremy sat there, looking at him. He had opened his mouth once or twice, but had taken to shutting it and picking at the hem of Michael’s sweater.

 

“Pucha, I’m sorry for bringing it up.” Michael shook his head, turning to better face Jeremy. “It just pisses me off, it even made you think that  _ I _ didn’t want to be friends with you!  _ Me! _ Honestly, that thing had to be broken.”

 

After a bit of silence, Jeremy finally replied. His voice was small and cracked, but he still replied.

 

“It had a point. I’m pathetic, nobody would actually want to be friends with me.” By the time Jeremy finished speaking, Michael couldn’t comprehend the anger he was feeling towards the computer.

 

“No, you know what? No. Okay? We are doing this. No. Would someone who thinks you’re pathetic, and didn’t want to be friends with you..” Michael grabbed Jeremy’s wrist.

 

_ Here goes nothing. _

 

“Would someone who wants to be your friend do  _ this _ ?”

 

He pulled Jeremy towards him, before placing both his hands on Jeremy’s face and quickly bringing their lips together. The kiss itself was pretty damn awkward, especially considering that Michael had never actually  _ kissed _ anyone before.

 

Michael hesitated, before eventually pulling away from Jeremy.

 

_ God, his gay ass was so dead. _

 

Jeremy’s face was about as red as his own, possibly even more so.

 

“God, fuck, I’m sorry! I just- I know you’re not-” Michael quickly took his hands away from Jeremy’s face, trying to scoot back a little. “Shit I’m sorry, fuck.”

 

Jeremy, on the other hand, sat there gaping like a fish. Every now and then he would almost form a word, but it was mostly just stunned silence.

 

“I can leave if you want, I’m sorry Jeremy.”

 

“I think to answer your uh... Your earlier question… Before uh..” He finally mumbled, looking anywhere but at Michael “No?”

 

“What?”

 

“You uh… Said something about whether or not someone who wants to be my friend would do that.” He sputtered, pulling at the collar of the hoodie. “I don’t uh… Last time I checked friends don’t have uhm…” He practically buried his face in the sweater as he spoke.

 

“You gonna continue your thought?” Michael choked out.

 

_ So far he was reacting a bit better then Michael would’ve thought, which was good for the most part. _

 

“Don’t have casual makeout sessions.” Jeremy finally replied, clearing his throat.

 

“We didn’t even-  _ Oh my god. _ Jeremy did you just.” Michael’s face somehow grew even redder as he looked at Jeremy’s face.  _ “Jeremy. _ ”

 

“I think so?” Jeremy was practically trying to bury himself in the beanbag chair, with the help of the sweater. “If it’s fine I uhm..”

 

“Who are you and what did you do with my long term best friend, Jeremy ‘no homo’ Heere?”

 

“Shut up! I can’t help it! Your uh…” Jeremy trailed off, yet again refusing to make eye contact. “Your lips make a compelling argument.” He muttered.

 

“My..? _ Oh my god. _ ” Before he could even laugh, Jeremy leaned forward and pushed his lips against Michael’s.

 

Michael eventually reached his hands out, one on Jeremy’s neck, and the other running through his hair.

 

When they eventually separated for air, Michael maneuvered onto Jeremy’s lap.

 

“So.” Michael breathed out, letting out a small laugh. “Why is it that I’m just now learning you aren’t straight?”

 

“Dude what did you want me to do? Go up to you one day and be like ‘Hey Mikey I’m bi! Oh, how did I realize that? Cause I realized I have a big dumb crush on you.’? No thank you.”

 

“To be fair, that probably would’ve been a smooth way to ask me out.” Michael laughed a little, starting to kiss along Jeremy’s jawline. He had suddenly stopped, though, when the realization struck him.

 

“Holy  _ shit _ dude.”

 

“Mh?”

 

“I mean, really a lot of things.” Michael laughed a little to himself, looking down at Jeremy. “But like, just holy shit!”

 

“If you keep rambling like this I’m not gonna keep waiting.”

 

“I got you to realize you were bi! Jere, that’s amazing!” He breathed a little, leaning back. “And… And, holy shit... This means we are a thing!” Michael laughed a little more, quickly pecking Jeremy on the cheek.

 

As Michael took a bit to recollect his thoughts, Jeremy had impatiently started to play with the collar of his shirt.

 

“You know what this means, right dude?”

 

“That you can stop getting lost in thought and kiss me?”

 

“That now I can do this  _ whenever I want _ .” Michael started to pepper kisses along his jawline, as well as his neck, stopping every now and then to complement him.

 

When he was satisfied, he pulled away a little to see a flustered Jeremy refusing to make eye contact with him.

 

“Hey, earth to Jere?” Michael muttered, wiggling a little in an attempt to get Jeremy to look at him.

 

It worked, in a way.

 

“Don’t do that!” Jeremy hissed at him, his face getting more flustered.

 

“This?” Michael was a little confused, giving another small wiggle. When met by more blushing and a hard stare from Jeremy, he tried to suppress the urge to laugh. “Did I turn you on by  _ wiggling around _ ?”

 

_ “It certainly didn’t help.” _ Jeremy muttered, before pulling Michael in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so i got some news guys
> 
> I might write more for this, it depends on whether or not y'all want me to really, but this will be the last chapter. I have some ideas in my head abt what I could do, though, if yall would be interested in me continuing it!
> 
>  
> 
> [Follow my tumblr for updates nd other things](http://grayscaleeternity.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> Kudos and comments make my day, and make my anxiety go away ;0


End file.
